Great article.

I found some other interesting findings, like:

People with higher need for approval are more likely to show prosocial behaviours when there’s CCTV around
Male school bullies have a higher need from approval from the other boys
Schoolgirls who don’t behave also have a higher need for approval from boys.
Schoolgirls with a higher need for approval are more likely to ascribe to the ‘thin ideal’ and are more dissatisfied with their body image
One study also said need for approval generally lacks an association with positive interpersonal traits

So it’s just a bad thing all around, really. But, I can’t seem to find any studies where they’ve figured out how to reduce the need for approval, or measured what happens when you do.

We’re just speculating, if I get chance this weekend I’ll see if there is any research in this area. I should get chance.

I would agree with what you describe but perhaps it more accurate to say its because, conscioulsy and subconsciously, it boils down to the fact that we seek other peoples approval. The extent to which we do this is probably inversely proportinal to our own feeling of ’self-worth.’ If we genuinely didn’t give a damn what people thought of us we would just be more concerned about keeping our selfs relatively comfortable and working towards that goal.

Consequently ,and perhaps paradoxically to some of the points you have described in this article, I would hazard a guess and say so people who don’t worry about measuring up are actually much happier than those who do (though these later people probably don’t realise thats usually at the root of trying to be ’succesfull’ hence back to ’self-worth’. )I think theres therfore a circular connection with all this.

I like that: FFFHB. I’ll remember that one. Maybe it’s comparing ourselves to other people that makes us look for happiness in success and material things – so your self-worth is tied up in your external circumstances, compared to the next person. I’ve often wondered why it’s hard to ignore all that and believe everyone has the same intrinsic value. I guess we just naturally compare ourselves to other people.

Thanks, I will investigate this further!

Anyway, this brings up a interesting point about self-worth.Isn’t the flip side of ‘positive-psychology’ all related to how people feel about themselves? Take away depression, anxiety and anger, which are all an expression of so-called low self-worth, then most people would be happy?

Perhaps your thinking those are all quite extreme examples of negative emotions. People interested in the subject of happiness arn’t that neurotic? Perhaps not, but I’m sure you have asked why are so many people interested in mostly materialistic pursuits such as success to make them happy? Do they perhaps think if they don’t live up to some so called standard they are less worthwhile? I would argue most people on the planet do!

So the subject of so-called self-worth is VERY relevant to alot of what you write about and I think, if your serious about helping people be happy, its a subject I would highly recommend you investigate! (Particularly the link between self-worth/self-esteem and happiness)

(btw.. I say ’so-called’ because I believe everyone has the same intinsic value as a person regardless of what they achieve. So they don’t need to get into a rage or a panic or feel suicidal when things don’t go the way they thought and give themselves a good mental kicking. As many people do everyday!)

Yeah, and meanwhile people in bad moods are avoiding you too, and looking for other people in bad moods.

Josten,

Good to hear the theories match up with your personal experience!

Thanks for the comments,
Warren